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…is that it is everywhere for a whole month before the actual date. Like most commercial holidays, true, but Valentine’s Day in stores is evidently all about candy. Want to just run into the mini-mart for a post-run protein bar? A gigantic display of heart-shaped boxes blocks the way, screaming “No, eat me instead!” Going shopping for new ‘skinny’ clothes? Hah, joke’s on me! Once I get past the two aisles plus table displays of Valentine chocolate, I’ve gained back any inches I might have lost just by the thought of devouring all of that deliciousness.

For someone with poor self-control when it comes to sweets (this girl), Valentine’s Day is an anathema to training and dieting. Case in point, yesterday.

My husband brought home a family-size bag of Reese’s Cups. So, I had them for breakfast. Yep, that was how the day started out. Luckily I was in the office all day, so after my breakfast of champions I was away from the Reese’s Cups. And with the office snack drawer. Which is normally not a problem for me. I bring in my Garden of Life shake and sip it all morning, which fills me up and makes me feel super good about what is in my body, and I have no desire for candy bars, oatmeal pies, etc. etc.

Unfortunately, breakfast chocolate seems to be a gateway drug. Once I’d broken the junk food seal, I wanted morrrrre! It didn’t help that I brought my son into the office for the last hour after school, and he ever-so-sweetly retrieved various sugary snacks for himself and also for me. You cannot turn down a Crunch bar when it is offered up like a gift with a heartbreakingly sweet little smile behind it!! (Of course you could, but then his little face would fall and he would sit quietly for the next few minutes, sadly eating his snacks alone. It has happened before on stronger-willed days!)

So when I got home, I realized I never made my usual smoothie/shake. A banana caught my eye, along with….yep. That damned bag of Reese’s Cups. Well, my evil chocolate-craving inner voice said, if we just blend up the Reese’s with that banana and some tofu, it will be almost healthy. But it will taste soooo good…. And I listened, despite my better judgment. But I was out of soft tofu, had no yogurt, and no coconut or almond milk (Yes, I’m going grocery shopping soon!). Aagh, what now? I really freaking wanted a peanut-butter-chocolate-banana smoothie. In my mind, it was going to taste like it came straight from the Tropical Smoothie dessert menu… Then that traitorous voice spoke up again. We can just put regular milk in. It’ll be all right.

I do not drink dairy milk. Milkshakes, though they taste so good, always always make my tummy hurt and cause all sorts of discomfort and gross feelings. And yet, I poured that milk right into my blender along with the banana and candy. (Honestly I don’t know what I was thinking, how yucky does that even sound? Nothing to improve the texture of that!) And even though it did not taste anywhere close to Tropical Smoothie, I laboriously slurped it up through a straw, fighting around all of the chunks of Reese’s Cups because they were basically just floating at the bottom of a glass of milk. Which was slightly thicker and had froth near the top from the banana. I feel sick just thinking about it this morning.

Lesson learned (for now anyway): I spent the rest of the evening on the couch in the fetal position. My evil inner voice is very quiet this morning, and I have decided that if it does decide to speak up again, I have no qualms against talking back very firmly, and aloud.

After all, it’s almost Valentine’s Day and I’ve got to look good for our weekend getaway.

What I'm sure my husband will be saying next month...

What I’m sure my husband will be saying next month…