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I mean, you know it’s bad when your unconscious mind entertains itself with dreams of some sort of weird, frantic adventure with Draco Malfoy, while wearing a Dragonball Z t-shirt. (Which, in my dream, I was so excited to find in the drawer because I’d forgotten I had it?) 

And this was a completely random dream; I haven’t reread my Harry Potter books or watched old episodes of DBZ lately. That’s just my brain, reminding me that though I may look and act like a normal, functioning and responsible adult, it’s all a big fat lie. I’m still an awkward nineties kid in Paris Blues jeans, wondering why everyone has to be stuck on their smartphones and tablets, and why the hell my kids are more interested in the Wii than the Super Nintendo.

And that’s okay with me. (I mean the fact that I’m still a dorky kid at heart, not the fact that my kids can’t appreciate classic gaming.) I don’t mind indulging in full-on dorkiness every now and then. I take out my contact lenses, put on my boot camp “birth control” glasses and some sort of grunge band shirt or shirt involving dragons (with kanji symbols, even better). Once I’m sufficiently un-sexy, I play my GameBoy (Pokemon Blue, y’all!) or break out my old anime DVDs or some Disney films. My husband hides his face in shame, and my kids think it’s hilarious. Though they laugh, I know they enjoy it…..as evidenced by the time I was walking down the street with the boys and my oldest suddenly jumped into an odd sort of fighting stance and yelled, “Power Pole Extend!” and proceeded to hit imaginary targets with his imaginary Power Pole. 

Anyway, it’s a good thing for parents not to lose sight of their childhood. It brings us closer to our kids, and causes much fun and mayhem in the household. Also much confusion when my husband innocently asks what the temp is outside and I yell “It’s over 9,000!!!!” He does not get it. Or any of my other daily references, unless from Pulp Fiction or Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas. Oh well. I don’t get his Stepbrothers references, either.