The past week has been a bit of a rough one for several reasons, and I have to admit to spending a small but still too large part of the last seven days on my couch in a toxic haze of apathy and discouragement. First, a situation with the small nonprofit organization–for which I have worked many, many unpaid hours from the office and home–left me feeling very used and taken advantage of….not a nice feeling at all. As a mother of two young children who is not currently working, I had really come to enjoy being in the office and sharing adult conversation and interaction, and I really do believe in the cause the organization supports. I felt like I was doing a lot of good. Unfortunately, in light of recent events, I no longer look forward to going in. But at the same time, after accepting responsibility for a department (still unpaid), I don’t feel like I can just stop working for them. Even though I know it’s only a volunteer position, and I know that I have been taken advantage of, my sense of integrity won’t let me “quit.”
This, in turn, has caused arguments between me and my husband because he is adamant that I stop working for them. Actually, most of my friends and family agree with my husband. But still I can’t bring myself to just walk out and leave projects and tasks unfinished. So this unsettling used feeling and the stress from indecision as to what to do and how to best handle things has all been wearing on me quite a bit.
(I know this may not make much sense, but I am being vague to protect my identity and that of the organization!)
However, it is somewhat endearing to watch my husband showing his rare protective side.
Meanwhile, probably due to the stress and hormones that rear their ugly heads despite missing my period this time around, my face is breaking out! Just in time for our Valentine’s trip! I’m frantically dabbing liqui-gels and moisturizing with tea tree oil but ugh! Am also positively evil today, and bloated to boot.
This beer is not helping, but hey it’s Saturday night and I survived a three hour birthday party at the bowling alley with some of the most ill-behaved children I’ve seen in a while (not mine!). And tomorrow is my long distance running day, so it will all balance out…eventually. Somehow. Or maybe not.
On the bright side, this time next week I will be in Paris. I just hope my skinny jeans fit again by then. So, this week…..
– Eat a raw vegan diet to fully cleanse and get rid of pseudo-period bloating, not counting tonight’s German treat.
– Finally get my hair cut and enjoy a good two hours with my salon friends whom I haven’t seen in too long.
– Possibly get a Brazilian blowout treatment while I’m there, hmm.
– Spend my days productively and actually be packed before the morning of my flight.
I will not:
– Hide in my house with curtains drawn.
– Wear yoga pants for anything other than yoga.
– Skip yoga practice in favor of curling up in a sad little ball on the couch.
– Skip evening runs with the bestie just to avoid movement from sad couch ball.
– Eat the damn Reese’s Cups on the counter.